Body Snatchers

The Body Snatchers have sneaked up once again, this time RETURNING my child to me, in much the same form as I remember her…. Heavy, HEAVY sigh…

I LUVS that kid. God KNOWS I DO. (This is my Sofia-Color-Purple moment) God. No more of the aggression, no more of this stranger. Just my daughter. Just my little sparkly, magickal kid… Please, God…

Eventful weekend.Franki went with Charlotte on a haunted trail thing. They had an absolute riot, they were VIBRATING when they came home, both standing in front of me, bouncing up and down, screaming out their adventures…  

 Hubz and I went to ANOTHER wedding. Good lord, aren’t all the guys at work MARRIED by now?! That’s the third one this year, in a company of about 40 guys! We had a nice time, the food was good, and there were cookies. Because a wedding without cookies is like… why bother?  I had to stare at the two anorexic wives again (two of the guys’ wives are skeletal, and no one addresses it. None of my business though, right? Meh. Whatever. I tell Hubz about it, but he’s all…OH,  they’re just thin… No. They are skeletons. Their noses stick up sharply, they’re eyes are rimmed in dark, cavernous circles, and they look haunted. They both sit hunched over, clutching at their boney arms, trying to keep warm with zero body fat. Why am I so tormented by them. I don’t know, I just wish someone would address it.

There were many babies at the wedding, in little teeny tiny three-piece suits, which is friggin’ funny, those little 4 inch pants and shit… How do they stitch those things?! So Hubz and I were looking at babies, and we get all weird and silly and say, hey, let’s reverse the ol’ vasectomy, whaddayasay? It was silly musing, and it was over in a couple minutes, especially as we watched all those mothers try to enjoy a hot dinner, with a baby balancing on their laps…  You can’t cut your broasted chicken breast apart with a squalling infant drooling on your kneecaps… I’m so glad all mine are past the kneecap stage… And on to bigger and better WAYS TO TORTURE ME.

It was really funny later, when you think about it, to be musing about having more babies… My sister popped in, unexpectedly this afternoon. Which is weird, she lives 70 miles away. But she was visiting the in-laws, who live 15 minutes from here. She had some news to share, and when she said that, she said, I have some news to share, my face fell and I guess I looked like I was expecting some sort of apocolypse or something, onaccounta, I’m feeling a little shakey and… delicate these days… But the news was good, she’s pregnant!  So we will have a little tiny leisure-suit wearing thing of our own to play with in a few short months!!! It has to be a boy, because girls just don’t look that cute in leisure suits.

Something must be in the air (LEGS!!! That’s what she said. Old joke. Too much coffee.) because the frogs have been waking me up nearly every night with their, get THIS, mating calls! Oh yes they are daggone mating! In captivity!!! The male frog makes this weird, rolling, chirping noise, it’s quite loud, expecially when you consider that he is UNDERWATER, he measures 3 inches long from the tip of his nose to his little froggy toes, and his call still manages to WAKE ME UP from a dead sleep! So he’s been doing this chirping thing for the past couple weeks, so I research it a little and find out it’s mating behavior. Okay, I think, that’s fine. But I certainly didn’t expect what was to happen NEXT. It’s about 9:00 pm, two or three nights ago, I just happened to walk by and look in on the frogs, and there’s one frog, floating in the tank, with his little froggie-hand on the other frog’s head. This was weird, because they don’t usually touch each other. So I watched for a second, and the frog started patting the other frog on the head! I said to the kids, you guys, I think the frogs are getting ready to mate… I don’t know why I knew that, I just FELT it…and sure enough, about two minutes later, one frog is wrapped around the other, and they stay that way for about 3 minutes, I’m jumping up and down SCREAMING, I don’t know why, it just thrilled me to see the frogs… acting… natural… I guess, because they’re from the wild in AFRICA, I have them in a tank in PENNSYLVANIA, and I run a filter, and I was worried that the filter would bother them, because they have little tympanic membranes running down their abdomens, or something, so they’re sensitive to the movement of a filter, but the filter keeps their water nice… sooo… it was just sorta… life affirming to me, to see the frogs doing froggy stuff… I’m easily amused. Frog sex. Who knew?

Haunted TRails, Body SNatchers, Babies in Leisure Suits, and Frog Sex. That about covers my weekend…